My Crazy Completely Unsupported by Evidence Theory

About the Book of Revelation.

I started to write something about my theory at the end of last year. This crazy theory about the Book of Revelation, one of the last parts of the Christian Bible, was just a daft thought I got after watching some youtube videos. I felt my rambles had become very serious and maybe even a little sanctimonious. So I wanted to write something that was just plain daft but also maybe, hopefully, a little entertaining.

I stopped. Because I know people’s feelings, and even sense of self, can be very tied up with their religious beliefs. And while I, as someone raised Christian and who still very much believes in God, never believed the revelations were real, I know that for others it’s an important part of the canon.

I try to never hurt the feelings of others. Not because I’m afraid of the consequences. Because I’ve had my feelings hurt many times. And I don’t like it. So I don’t want to do that to others. And I try not to. Apart from when I’m really angry and let fly. But I try. Often fail. But I try.

So look, if you’re a sweet sensitive creature who believes in the Book of Revelation just stop reading this now. I don’t want to offend you. I’m posting this crazy theory because I was offended when I saw this –

So I’ve been offended by the EU being called a sin-infested place? Well, … it’s quite easy to offend me in fairness.

Oh no, is this another post about Brexit? *GROAN*

No. Not even a bit. I promise.

The Crazy, Completely Unsupported by Evidence, or Research, or Sense, Theory

I suspect that the Book of Revelation may not be really Christian.

I have some vague suspicions that John, its author, was a member of … the secret Cult of Mithras. What if John wrote the revelations in order to include his beliefs into the teachings of the new radical religion, Christianity?

I’m not suggesting that John wasn’t Christian. I don’t think the Cult of Mithras was a standalone religion. I think it was a secret society and its members could be adherents of other religions. If this is case, I imagine his wanting to incorporate the teachings of his cult into the texts of his main religion wouldn’t have been an attempt to subvert the teachings of Christ, it would have been done with the intention of adding to the truth of the message, as he saw it.

Why? How did I come to this conclusion?

Um … I’m a little fascinated by how we lost the knowledge of how things like the Pyramids were built. I wonder if a great cataclysmic event occurred just a few thousand years before the Common Era. I actually wonder if there were a series of them before and after their construction, affecting Europe, the Middle East and Asia particularly. And if that is what really caused societies to want to start recording things in a written form. A form that wasn’t so dependent on mortal humans being able to pass their knowledge on to the next generation. And also to leave more permanent stone reminders of their societies.

The Celts were said to fear nothing but the sky falling in on their heads. There is some dispute about where the Irish came from. But when I was growing up Ireland was a Celtic nation. And being the patriotic sort I didn’t really like to hear that they feared the sky falling in – because that sounds pretty silly. But what if the Celts were formed by the survivors of a bunch of societies decimated by a meteor impact? Then it’s not so silly. It’s handing down the lessons learnt by a terrible trauma. It’s not really over until the sky falls in on your head. Then it’s the end. And the new beginning starts.

The extent to which societies of that time seemed to follow the stars is really quite something. Yes, they were agrarian societies who needed to be aware of the seasons and all that kind of thing. But the tracking of constellations. The importance of celestial bodies. And the possible impact they could have on the lives of men. That wasn’t exclusive to the Celts. All of those societies paid a lot of attention to the heavens.

Is this going anywhere?

There is an Orion Correlation theory about the position of the Pyramids of Giza reflecting the position of the stars in Orion’s Belt. What if Egypt’s leap forward in technology and construction was in part due to being located far enough away from one of the cataclysmic events to be spared from destruction, but close enough that it benefited from a mass influx of people fleeing the devastation?

Could they somehow have thought that the constellations had thrown destruction at parts of the Earth? Surviving a cataclysmic event relatively unscathed must have given those societies a sense of being protected from up above. Maybe the heavens allowed some to perish whilst protecting others?

I don’t think the Cult of Mithras is based on ancient Egyptian beliefs. But I think other cultures may have regarded Orion as an important constellation.

Oh for heavens sake…

OK let me just get to it. I think the Cult of Mithras is a mixture of Greek mythology, astrology and the Persian god Mithra. Oh and with some sorts of militaristic rituals and ceremonies thrown in for good measure.

Orion in Greek mythology was this fantastic hunter and son of the god Poseidon. There are several different stories about how he was killed but all the myths end with him being turned into the constellation, Orion. Orion is right beside Taurus, the constellation of the bull, in the sky.

Mithra was a god in the Zoroastrian religion. Interestingly, as least according to wikipedia, Mithra is the Guardian of Cattle, the Harvest and of the Waters. Yet the meeting places of Cult of Mithras often had artwork showing Mithras looking off to the side while slaying a bull. The guardian becomes the destroyer?

So basically, I wonder if the Cult of Mithras contained a doomsday prophecy involving the constellation of Orion somehow obliterating Taurus. Mithras is a composite of Orion and Mithra. And in his final battle of the heavens it will be decided who shall be guided upwards to heaven or downwards to perdition by the torch bearers. And those working in the ranks of Mithras’ army shall especially rewarded.You know, the usual sort of doomsday prophecy…

The Connection to the Book of Revelation

The connection I drew between this and the Book of Revelation is hard to explain. Mainly because I’ve forgotten most of it. Crazy baseless theories are fun for a bit of musing but I wouldn’t want to hold on to them.

Anyway I wondered if Wormwood might be Betelgeuse, the second brightest star in the Orion constellation. It’s possible that astronomers in the ancient world had observed Betelgeuse varying brightness. If they had, they may have thought it was unstable and bound to cause devastation.

According to a wikipedia page the “Greek word [for wormwood] is believed to refer to a plant of the genus Artemisia, used metaphorically to mean something with a bitter taste“. The name “artemisia” derives from the Greek goddess Artemis, who, according to some versions of the myth, is the one responsible for Orion’s death.

So I imagined there may have been doomsday prophecies involving the Orion constellation both as protector and destroyer, and that Betelgeuse would be the cause of our doom.

Mithra is a judicial figure, an all-seeing god who knows what you did and didn’t do. The Book of Revelation is all about the end times and the judgments that will be handed down then.

Also there were seven initiation steps in the cult. Could these be the seven stars referred to in the revelations?

What if … what if the Book of Revelation isn’t really Christian?

Sounds like a lot of what-if-ery, doesn’t it? And it is. Just some mad musings.

But if you say something offensive that is quoting the Book of Revelation, all I’m thinking is “You think you sound so righteous but you sound to me like you’ve been duped by a doomsday cult.”

Look I don’t want this to offend anyone. Just don’t go around calling people or places sin-filled. OK?

Does Anyone Talk Sense Anymore?

Well, I’ve been talking out my elbow here obviously. But here is a sensible and informed video about the interesting Cult of Mithras. It is actually making the point that theories about Jesus and Mithras being one and the same are baseless. But it also does outline the little we do actually know of the mysterious cult. It’s worth a watch.